Himself - Narrator

Jay Leno, Mayor Jay Leno

Carolyn

Dotty Campbell, English Mother at airport, French Teacher

Himself

Liam Neeson

Various, Waiter, Cop, Criminal, Jeffrey Fecalman, Agent Jenkins, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bernie, Brad Garrett, Cab Driver...

Carol Pewterschmidt, Carol West

Bertram

Club Manager, Marvin Astley

Big Fat Paulie, Bronx Guy #1, Cartoony Crewman, Henessy, Mechanic

Jewish Man, Ray Romano, Raymond, Trekkie #1

George W. Bush, Ross Fishman, Various, AA Member, Additional Voices, Angry Mob Man, Ben Fishman, Crowd, Door Guard, Ferris Bueller...

Gordon Gronkowski

Himself, Vern

Justin Hackeysack

Luke Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi

Penelope, Queen Elizabeth II

Fat Greek Guy, Miles 'Chatterbox' Musket, The Black Knight

Fred Flintstone, Homer Simpson, Barney Rubble, George Jetson, John Goodman, Max Weinstein, Paul Sorvino, Scott Caan, Swift Songwriter, Sylvester...

Chevy Chase, Clark Griswold

Mayor Adam West, Mayor Adam West as Grand Moff Tarkin, Ace Merrill, Batman, Fairy Godmother, Himself

Jim Kaplan, Various, Al Harrington, Ernie the Giant Chicken, Evil Monkey, Robin Williams, Announcer, Buzz Killington, TV Announcer, A Professional Man...

Dan Aykroyd

Ruth Cochamer, Singing Cheerleader

Miss Tammy, Barbara, Woman, Cheerleader, Nurse, Olivia, Prostitute, Student, Various, 1920s Woman...